04/01/2016

HOW CARRIE BRADSHAW SET WRITERS UP FOR FAILURE

Image : Yassein Gonzalez on Pinterest

You know what everyone always says about Disney giving them unrealistic expectations about love? Well, the same goes for Carrie Bradshaw and her ridiculously lavish life as a columnist. As a writer myself, here are a couple of 'life according to Carrie' expectations that came crashing down when I hit my mid-20s.

Freelancing is a walk in the park
So, apparently, writing one column a week makes you enough money to pay for your Manhattan apartment, a thousand Cosmopolitans a week and fund your unhealthy habit of buying ugly, overpriced shoes. Wrong. Strike one, Carrie. 

Exciting things will happen on a weekly basis 
And they'll make such perfect ideas for your column, the stories will virtually write themselves. Just sit back and let the magic happen. And, may I add, even though you print every single detail of your friends' sex lives practically on a live feed as they're telling you, they'll still be happy to divulge their deepest, darkest secrets to you. Dude, if I did that to my friends, they'd all be conveniently washing their hair every time I wanted to meet up.

Smoking is sexy
It's not. Carrie probably stunk of ashtray.

Eating out every night is totally normal
Believe me, I wish it was, but unless you're raking in an incredible salary ( cough Point 1 cough), this is not a realistic lifestyle. Stop using your oven to store shoes and get the potato waffles on the go. 

It's ok if the guy you love is a total dick to you 
Let's be honest, if he didn't want you then, it's unlikely that he'll want you however-many-years later. Big even fucked up their wedding, for god's sake, and she still married him! Girls, please do not let this give you false hope. If he's not that into you now, don't expect him to realise and come running to Paris for you. Move on, marry the Russian. 

A room full of clothes 
Yes, I live alone and my spare room is a closet for my designer clothes. That's totally normal.

Sleeping with a new man every week is ok
And also a sure-fire way to STD heaven. Let's leave it at that.

Your friends will be at your beck and call
It's a nice idea but I'm just going to put it out there that it's extremely unlikely that four women with demanding jobs, relationships and kids will have as much time to sit around brunching as these ladies do. Unless you're Miranda and can afford to hire a Magda so you can go to lunch and complain about Steve.


Still, I can't deny that I do love SATC, and one thing I have taken away, as a freelance writer, from Ms Ashtray McShoe Addiction is to commence an inner monologue à la Bradshaw whenever I start writing... and I wouldn't have it any other way! 


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